Do I Remember What It’s Like To Be Broke?
Lol, that’s me and my little bro in the picture. And that’s some dirty apartment we used to live in where we slept on the ground (although to be fair, in Korea a lot of people slept on the ground back then and not on beds).
Some people don’t think I can relate to them. I get messages all the time, like “bro, you don’t understand, I’m broke.”
Look, I get you. You might be in a bad place. I’m not looking down on that. I feel your pain. It sucks being broke. It’s probably one of the worst feelings because it’s like chronic pain.
But have you given a second to think about maybe…just maybe…I had to start out somewhere as well? Like, I didn’t always have money! It had to come from somewhere!
Just because I eat out every meal and don’t look at menu prices when ordering stuff at a restaurant…
Just because I’m pretty much retired at a young age and blog for roughly 1.5 hours a week to make a stupid amount of money…
Yeah I have 100% freedom and options. I’m not gonna deny that.
But having said that…
Do I remember what it’s like to be broke?!?!?!?! [I wanna cuss here, but I won’t] Yes!!!!!!!!!!
I used to be broke. Why? Because my parents are missionaries. Now don’t get me wrong. We weren’t like…slums-poor. We weren’t like…searching for water half the day poor (you found it! cash giveaway hint 9/14/18! The artist is a young rapper and is really close friends with Justin Bieber, Justin calls him his little brother. He has a lot of tats on his face, has been called “the Donald Trump” of rap, and is very vocal about gun rights. The song was released this year in 2018 in his second studio album).
You’d be surprised how many people in the world have to search every day for something as basic and fundamental for survival as water.
We had clothes, food, and shelter. So God took care of us. That said, we never had ANY luxuries growing up.
Growing up, I didn’t have money for:
- toys, lol. I had to make my own toys out of cardboard. I remember making toy guns out of taped cardboard and playing a game I made up called “Forest Cops” with my brother
- gifts, presents, you name it (never got them during holidays and birthdays) my brother and I got a birthday cake if we were lucky
- we never bought retail (we always wore donated clothes, thrift store clothing, or stuff my parents bought at yard-sales and stuff like that
- my parents Oldsmobile car broke down so much it was traumatic for me as a kid, seriously. The piece of crap car was breaking like every other day, it was sad watching my parents
- we didn’t have money to go out to eat. We went out to eat maybe once a year. And trust me, it wasn’t anything to write home about. We just kept asking for refills on the free side dishes.
- shoes? Lol, growing up I always wore shoes that was like 3 sizes bigger at every stage of my life. I looked like a clown. Because my mom didn’t want to buy shoes frequently.
- movies. Nope. Back then there was no Netflix. So people actually went to movie theaters. I remember only ONCE going to the movie theater. And that movie was Titanic, lol.
- no Christmas trees, stocking full of treats and gifts, no presents under the tree, no nothing.
- used everything. Nothing was new. Even underwear.
- I can go on and on but I don’t wanna waste your time, because I think you get the point. We weren’t like ridiculously poor like many people in other parts of the world, but it wasn’t even middle class by any stretch of the imagination
We always lived in cheap apartments; and funny story about that
Growing up we lived in apartments. My parents didn’t rent a house or own a house.
Except for maybe once when my parents rented a place from a close friend and it was super discounted; this is the reason why I still walk around on tippy toes on the second floor of my house and my wife unknowingly stomps around even though she weighs like half my body weight.
You can’t hear me walk, I’m like a ninja!
All kids who grew up in apartments know what I’m talking about. It’s because if you grew up living in an apartment, you always had to be mindful of the people living below you, lol.
Look, I just want to avoid the pain of the past
At the end of the day. It’s not about the expensive stuff.
I just don’t want to live like I lived under my parent’s roof. No disrespect to them; but being missionaries is their calling, not mine!
Not having money sucked.
Not having freedom and options sucked.
The trauma from the lack of financial stability still haunts me to this day
I’m mentally and emotionally scarred from my childhood. Until recently I had insomnia and trouble sleeping every day (even though I had plenty of money). Because I feared of losing it all.
It ‘s an unhealthy place to be. I have to take anxiety medication because of it.
If you’re a parent reading this. You need to get your money right!
You’ll seriously scar your children if they have to grow up being worried about running out of money all day every day.
I remember my little brother crying asking me if we were going to run out of money. I remember thinking, like dude, I’m a kid too, I’m scared too!
Kids are supposed to grow up in stable, protective, and nurturing environments to have the best chance at life, or their past will haunt them to their grave.
They’ll need some serious therapy. Like me. Haha….not funny…
The pain of the past drives me; pain is a great motivator
That’s it. It’s the fear. I’m not brave. I’m afraid.
It’s not that I just want more and more just to feed some sort of sick appetite for unfettered amounts of money and gobs of trinkets and cars and all of that stuff.
It’s just that I’m trying to protect me and my family from not having enough.
Even though I know God will provide for us; as a father and husband, I need to take responsibility for my own family; it is my sacred duty
The end, that’s it folks. Hope this helps inspire some of you.
Please go do what you want to do. What you need to do. Don’t wait. You are stronger than you realize, you just have to give yourself a chance.
P.S. the winner of today’s $100 cash giveaway is @fafafafatimaaa congrats!! She was the first to guess correctly!
Correct answer was “I’ll Keep On” by NF
Make sure you have post notifications turned on for my posts to be first in line to know when I put up my cash giveaways!
More to come, so stay tuned!