This is How you Overcome the Feeling of Helplessness (and cash give-away winner announced)
What do you think is one of the biggest obstacles a person can face in life?
Something that can completely take away all of your confidence and make you feel stressed, anxious, depressed, and not wanting to do anything?
When you’re overcome with feeling hopeless, it seems like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. You start feeling a sense of dread and all your motivation goes away. You ask yourself, “why even try?” and “why me?” These questions then start to fester in your mind and become a never-ending cycle of pain and torture.
If you’ve ever felt this feeling of hopelessness, or feel like you’re lost in life, you’re not alone
We live in a time where everyone is stressed to the max, are we not?
Society, family (parents especially), school, work, and friends are all putting a tremendous amount of pressure on us. And the worst part of all of this is that it’s chronic: meaning it’s unending. It’s constant and it never lets off. So the more we try, the more we fail, and the more confidence we lose. And the less confident we are, the less we’re able to overcome our day-to-day struggles.
So the first thing to realize when you’re feeling this way, is to acknowledge that everyone else around you is feeling the same way. So don’t feel like you’re alone in this. If you don’t know of anyone that’s feeling like this, it just means that they’re just really good at faking it.
It’s really difficult to overcome something if you feel like you’re alone in the struggle. That somehow the universe is plotting against you and is bringing pain; and only to you. So fight that feeling with the fact that, it’s just not true. Everyone is feeling like this.
People are popping pills to ease the stresses of life; it’s an epidemic
Do you know what the biggest group of medicated people are?
Celebrities and rich people.
Does that surprise you? Look, don’t believe the facade. Don’t believe the fake front that people are putting on. It’s all a show. The most successful people are the most anxious. They do all sorts of stuff to get even just a little bit of sleep because they’re so stressed out. Ambien, Xanax, Ativan, Prozac, sleeping in hyperbaric capsules. They’re trying all sorts of stuff.
Heck, I’ve shared before on my YouTube and Instagram, and even here on this blog, that I’m taking anxiety medication. Why do you think this is?
The more money you have, the more you become afraid of losing it all
Money is nice.
I won’t lie. It buys you a ton of stuff in life. It buys you all the necessities in life and all the comforts and luxuries you can ever imagine.
But having said that, it also brings a lot of stress. When you don’t have money, you have nothing to lose. But the more money you have, you have more to lose. Does this make sense? The more successful you become, suddenly everynone’s paying attention to you. Every failure is now public. Everything is scrutinized. You can’t hide.
The more you compare yourself with others, the more unhappy you will be
Look, at some point, you gotta realize that you’re only competing with yourself. I don’t want to say be lazy and don’t push yourself. I want you guys to push yourselves.
But don’t compare yourself with others. If you’re constantly failing, guess what? That means you’re trying. And in my book, that’s exactly where you want to be. You want to be constantly failing; if you’re not failing, you’re taking it too easy. I don’t care how successful you are, if you’re not racking up the failures, you’re just cruising.
Stop trying to please your parents
It’s normal for people even when they get into their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s to want to try and please their parents.
At some point, you gotta stop thinking this way. This may sound a bit morbid, but your parents are going to die someday. Will their approval mater then? They won’t even exist. I know that sounds a bit weird, but I’m just trying to get your mind right. Heck, you won’t even be alive either, so why are you killing yourself with unnecessary thoughts? It’s pointless to let other people control the way you act and think.
And while we’re on the subject of family, let’s talk about everyone trying to one-up their brother or sister
Is that your gauge of success in life?
Because if so, that’s sad. Someone’s gotta say it. Your feeling of joy and accomplishment hinges on something so frail as beating your brother or sister in life? Like, getting better grades than them, or going to a better school, having a better job than them, or making more money than them?
They’re on the same team! If you’re family, their wins are your wins. If you think otherwise, you need to re-evaluate yourself.
Keep reminding yourself: their wins are your win; so be proud of their accomplishments
I can’t say this enough: don’t compete with family. That’s stupid. They’re you’re flesh and blood. If anyone is on a team, that’s a team.
The only reason why you’re wanting to compete so hard with your own flesh and blood is because you have some sort of trauma. Like growing up, your parents only acknowledging your brother and you living in his shadow. It happens, I get it. But at some point in life, when all of you are grown men and women, you just need to move on and stop being so childish.
The same can be said for friends. If they’re truly your friend, you shouldn’t have to one-up them. They’ll like you for who you are. And you should like them for who they are. Plain and simple. All of this competing is unhealthy for your soul, mental state, and emotions.
Take a step back and evaluate your hurts and traumas from childhood
We all have issues from childhood. It affects you more than you’d probably want to admit.
But some of us take that burden to the grave, while others of us are able to break away from those chains of bondage and slavery. The past will enslave you if you let it. As you grow into full adulthood, you have to heal those wounds. If you have daddy issues or mommy issues or brother and sister issues, you must confront it. You must forgive. If not for them, for yourself. If you don’t, guess who’s gonna suffer the most?
You’re going to suffer. Not those who’ve caused you the hurt. And to take it a step further, you’re going to continue that cycle of pain with your spouse and your children down the line, and they’ll grow up with the same hurts that you’ve had. Break the bondage. It doesn’t have to control your future.
Unplug from social media and the internet; take a break from your phone
I know it’s ironic hearing this from a blogger, but I need to state facts.
It’s unhealthy if you’re constantly on your phone because you’re always looking at other peoples’ highlights of their lives. You just don’t see enough of what’s really happening in the background. Often times, you don’t see people’s hurts and their dark thoughts. You don’t see what’s happening in peoples’ bedrooms or the types of stuff they’re going through behind closed doors.
Read the bible; you know it’s worked in the past, so it’ll work now
If you’re Christian, like me, you know it works. If you’re living in the Word, you’ll feel encouraged. It aligns you back to what’s truly important in life.
Do you remember what happened with Job? At least our lives are better than what Job had to go through. I doubt any of you have it as bad as Job.
Losing all his children, losing all his wealth and health. His friends were telling him that he must’ve done something wrong to upset God. Like really? At this time, you’re saying stuff like that to him? Those are some weird friends. And even his wife, who you’d think would be on his side trying all she can to comfort him in his pain, was like “dude, just curse God and die.”
It can’t get any worse than this. And yet, he endured.
I’ll leave you with this verse from Psalms:
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
– Psalms 46: 10-11
At the end of the day, we’re all gonna die
It doesn’t matter what grades you got, what school you went to, what job you had, how much money you made, or any of that stuff.
A year before you were born, the world didn’t know about you. You simply didn’t exist. Whether or not you would’ve been born into this world or not, the world would’ve been the same with or without you. The same will happen about a year after you die. For most people, it will be like you’ve never existed. Your friends, family, and co-workers will all be dead too. So every single person that you’ve been stressing over and anxious trying to please and one-up will all be dead.
Have you ever thought about that? It’ll be like none of you ever existed. At least on this earth anyway.
Keep your head up, educate yourself with what matters, and press forward
All of you reading this are in different places in your lives.
Some of you are haven’t even gone to college yet and you’re wondering what you want to do in life. You might be in college but you feel like you’re wasting time and money. Some of you have already graduated but you haven’t found a job; or worse, you found a job, but you’re hating every second of it. And then some of you have been there and done that, but you still aren’t feeling fulfilled. Look, if something’s broken, fix it. Do something and don’t be afraid of the outcome because there’s just no such thing as perfect.
Most of you know by now that I’m pretty big on the fact that school is highly overrated. The grades I got in school don’t matter today. Not even a little bit. What I learned in school aren’t even being applied in my day to day. You wanna know why? Because I remember jack squat from my school years. I remember seriously nothing from elementary school, middle school, high school, and college. All I remember is being stressed out. Looking back now, I realized that I could’ve saved so much pain and emotional trauma if I didn’t take every little single thing so seriously.
Conclusion and takeaways
- Hopelessness and helplessness is a modern day plague. It’s a disease. But just know that everyone’s on the same boat so you don’t have to feel alone in this. Don’t be tricked by the masks people wear. They’re all hurting, and they’re all fragile, including me. Some of us just fake it better.
- If you’re anything like me, society, family, friends, coworkers, etc; they’re all putting a tremendous amount of pressure on you. At some point you need to free yourself from the bondage and slavery mindset of comparing yourself to others and competing with others. Just compete with yourself. Hold yourself to a higher standard.
- If you’re failing, like all the time, you’re good in my book. If you’re not failing all the time, you’re simply too comfortable. You’re on cruise control. I can’t respect that. Failure is the number one ingredient to success. Like I often say, how do you make a half-court shot in basketball? You throw a lot of shots. That’s it. There’s no magic formula. It might take you longer than others, but it’s inevitable. The half court shot will come some day.
- We all have hurts from childhood. There’s not a single one of us who don’t. Take a moment to evaluate your issues. If you need to, talk to a friend or family member, or pastor. You need to get it out or it’ll fester like a disease. And there has to come a point where you forgive yourself, and forgive others who’ve done wrong to you in the past. If not for them, for yourself. You can’t run with all this emotional baggage. You need to free yourself to be able to run. You’re too bogged down and the person that it’s hurting the most is you. So let it go. Forgive and move on.
- Get off social media from time to time and detox. I believe in it fairly strongly, even though I’m a blogger. I can’t keep looking at the highlights of everyone’s lives and feel good about myself, It’s not normal. So just like doing detox to your physical body, sometimes you gotta detox emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
- If you’re Christian, like me, why are you not reading the bible more? I’m saying this to you, but I’m more like preaching to myself right now. Every time I go in my room and close the doors behind me and read the Word, even if I need to force myself, I always come out of it with a better perspective and a healthier state. Remember, your identity should be in Christ. If your heart is right, everything else will be right. If your identity is on other things that are not as solid as the Rock, then why do you think you’re feeling so unstable? And think about what Job had to go through; I doubt any of us have it as worse than he’s had it.
- A lot of people out there in the world right now are suffering. People are living with no water, or having to travel hours each day to find water (dirty and muddy water) and having to eat recycled food from the dumpster with rat feces and cockroaches all over it. I’m not making this up. When’s the last time you ate food like that? Have some perspective. It’ll do you good. The more you’re feeling sucky, think about how many more people out there have it suckier than you.
- Remember that we’re all gonna die. Your friends, your family, your co-workers, and everyone that has ever known you will not be on this earth if you give it enough time. So no one’s going to remember you, your faults, nor your successes. For most of us, it’ll be like we never even existed. The same goes for every single person you know. Life is like that. We’re like flowers in the field, blooming one day and gone the next. So don’t over think things. This shouldn’t be depressing if you’re thinking about it correctly, it should be very freeing to think this way because you have nothing to prove.
P.S. The first person who correctly guessed my weight and height won yesterday’s $100 cash give-away is @regk congratulations!
My height is 6’1 (186cm) and current weight is 225lbs (102kg) – yes I’ve been eating too much so I gained a lot of weight; I’m trying to go on a diet, haha
And if you didn’t win this time, remember that there’s many more to come, so keep your eyes peeled! I’ll be doing more of these lightning rounds where the first person who guesses correctly will win, so you’ll have an advantage if you have my post notifications on since you’ll be one of the first to see the give-away.
Psychology Today – How to stop comparing yourself to others
Harvard Medical School – Chronic pain and childhood trauma
WebMD – Coping with Anxiety